Caregivers

Recently I saw a news report related to the increasing numbers of people in my generation who are entering retirement and simultaneously becoming caregivers for aged parents. At this time there are over 10 million members of the boomer generation caring for a parent, three times the number only 15 years ago. Just at the time this generation is on the downhill slope preparing (hopefully) for retirement these family obligations are subtracting 3 trillion dollars from earnings and savings. Don't get me wrong. Caring for aging family is a moral obligation as well as a potentially satisfying time of maturing relationships with one's parents. In a sense it allows the life cycle to complete itself in the paradigm of the nuclear family, one of humankind's longest and most enduring traditions.

Last December my Mother, who is pushing 92, came to live with my wife and I. Right here I have to say that attempting to do this job without the support of one's spouse would be nigh impossible and could created fractures in a marriage that could tear the contract asunder with stresses.

Mom was in declining health when she came to live with us. It was difficult to get her to eat and weight loss was a growing problem. By February it was clear there was something wrong and in March she was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation and had surgery to implant a pacemaker. She has had a gradual recovery and had become capable of caring for herself for the most part. Then just last week she had a bout of vertigo and fell breaking her hip and wrist. She had surgery to repair the hip two days later and now is on her way to Cardinal Hills for rehabilitation. My wife has spent all but one night at the hospital with her and Mom has relied on her more than even she realizes. During this time I have worked little and Juanita has devoted herself to Mom's care which leaves taking care of a household and the two acres we mow in need of a caregivers themselves. The time required during the past three months has been consuming. Ten years ago we lost my father and a few years later her father, both of whom were cared for at home. I am immensely proud of the way the families handled these family obligations but I can well understand how the needs and pressures could force someone to place loved ones in long-term care facilities.

But, I am blessed with a wife who stepped up to the plate and I believe that I have and will continue to do the same. As a team we have managed to accomplish this while at the same time dealing with health related issues of our own. A situation that is increasingly more common among the baby boomers.

I have a couple of things I want to say about that. Ever since I was a teenager people have been running off at the mouth about the irresponsible and self-centered baby boomers. Well, I just want to tell them to stuff it. The boomers haven't done too badly over all and certainly no worse than other generations. We simply responded to the times and now we are facing the same requirements inherent in aging. The difference is that people are living longer and placing a greater strain on the generation following. I'm not griping, just stating a fact that is going to become more and more significant within the next two decades. In twenty or twenty five years we will be the age of our parents now and there will be a smaller generation to do the same job we do. What will be the response of the country to that? Already strains are being placed on the health care system (it's not really a system) that are unsustainable under the existing structure of health care delivery. How will we ask it to cope with massive numbers of new citizens requiring support?

Already we refer to Social Security and Health Care as entitlements. That is kind of a misnomer because we are possibly the first generation to have paid taxes into those programs our entire lives. However, as we see, it is easy to generate expenses in our final years far in excess of what was contributed. That is where the bulk of the expenses come from. For instance, Mom receives a Social Security check that would enable her to live if she had no rental or maintenance expenses. Her drugs are covered under Medicare D and she has been paying into a supplemental insurance plan to the tune of almost $400 per month since she turned 65. That is 1/3^rd of her income. But she has had to have a renal stent, pacemaker surgery and, now, hip surgery and rehabilitation. These procedures will easily total over $100,000 which makes Medicare a very good deal. Medicare will cover 80% of these expenses and the supplement will cover the remaining 20% unless they manage to finagle their way out of it. If Mom were in a nursing home her insurance would be kicking in more but because she lives with us there is no way that I know of to offset the costs we have borne out of love and responsibility. The moral imperative and our love say we must and so we shall. But caregivers at home save the federal government a lot of money and perhaps we should recognize that by allowing caregivers to recover some expenses. By encouraging home care we could impact significantly the cost to the taxpayer of providing for that loved one.

The political landscape is toxic to any proposal that would possibly increase governmental expenditures but a good case can be made that this would actually decrease costs over the long haul, something we are not so good a taking into account. I wonder how many Moms and Dads are in long term care facilities simply because their children cannot bear the additional cost of caring for them? Why can't we talk about things like this instead of the ridiculous things that devour the public sphere?

Just sayin'. That's my take on caregiving, but not all of it.